What Traffic Jams Can Teach Us About Social Issues

Sitting in traffic on I-35 today, I came to a conclusion.  As I sat in traffic for miles only to find out that traffic slowed down only for people to look at the flashing lights on the side of the road.  And as I saw no one, myself included, stop to help, I wondered why can't people just mind their own business?




That is, if when we talk about abortion rights, marriage equality, or any number of other so-called social issues, we just stopped for a moment to ask, "How does this affect me?" we wouldn't get nearly as worked up about social issues because we've learned (or at least moist of us have learned) that allowing gay couples to get married or allowing women to have abortions doesn't cause the Apocalypse.  Just as if we see flashing lights or an accident on the side of the road (and have no intention to stop and help) and ask "How does this affect me?" and answer, "It doesn't" then we keep driving and alleviate a traffic jam for no reason. 

And let's be clear, illogical arguments that speak to why these things are not OK like, "We have to protect marriage," "Marriage is the basic building block of the family," and "You're killing a baby" don't count.  And I'll tell you why they don't count.

We have to protect marriage.  The only way to protect marriage is to make divorce illegal. It is interesting that this is not an idea floated by those who want to "protect" the institution of marriage.  When we have heterosexual people who can get married on a drunken weekend in Vegas and then come home and get a divorce, am I to believe that that strengthens marriage?  What about people like Larry King who is now allegedly getting his seventh divorce? How does that strengthen marriage.  Let's not forget that the divorce rate in the United States is (depending on who you ask) around 50 percent.  In other words, one in two marriages end in divorce.  Opening up marriage to those to whom this socially constructed institution has been banned doesn't really affect those heterosexual couples who chose to get married -- divorce weakens the institution. 

Marriage is the basic building block of the family.  The last time I checked, married couples don't have to sign an agreement that says that they are getting married in order to have children.  Certainly, many people do chose to have children, but some couples chose not to -- including some of my married friends.  In addition, there are many single parents who successfully raise well-adjusted children.  In addition, the way in which we culturally shame teenagers about sex and their bodies, we almost guarantee that these teenagers will have premarital sex and be uninformed about proper contraception methods and uses. (I'm looking at you Bristol Pailin).

You're killing a baby.  The point at which a human becomes a human is up for debate.  Some think it is at the moment of conception, others think it's much later.  And because there isn't good science and no one on this Earth is God, we don't know when human life really begins.  And while abortion should not be used as a form of contraception, safe abortions should be made available to a woman who wants to have one without having to undergo psychiatric evaluation like Nebraska now requires.  But let's assume that abortions are outlawed.  What happens to the unwanted children?  Are those who helped to get abortion outlawed going to pitch in both time and resources to ensure that the child has all that he or she needs?  Or assuming that the unwanted child is born and put into the adoption system, where we won't allow gay people to adopt them and heterosexual couples want a "child of their own." 

We'd all be better off taking a moment to reflect on how things really affect us before forming an impassioned response.  Because if it doesn't affect us, we can expend that energy on things that really matter.